So it has finally got to the point that I can no longer ignore it. I have done damage to my knees and they are now sore, sore, sore. The clicking in them every time I bend them is a nice reminder that they are broken. My overpronation, which I thought I was managing with supportive shoes, has eventually ground me down. Took five weeks of running training to do it. I didn’t think it was normal that running should hurt like it was, but I didn’t have experience to know that for sure, so I pushed through and then eventually I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
This is a prime opportunity for my negative perspectives to take over.
And yeah, I’m angry at my stupid overpronating feet for being that way. I’m sad that my body is not set up quite right to allow me to do the things I really want to do. I am frustrated that there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do all the training I want to do. I’m angry, sad and frustrated.
But, more than all of that, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for the fact that I can turn up to a PT session with much less angst that I used to, so I can get on quicker. I’m grateful that I work somewhere with a gym in the building that allows me to train around my job. I’m thrilled that I can look back at the stuff I was doing just about 5 months ago and what I’m doing now and even I can see that there is no comparison. I never thought, back then, that I would be able to do what I can do now. I’m grateful that I understand the principles of clean eating and good nutrition and apply this knowledge about 99% of the time. I’m grateful for my legs that can still squat, albeit with a sound accompaniment from the knees. I’m pleased that I am not frightened of hard work and will put in whatever it takes to fix the broken knees, sort out the overpronation and get back to running form. I’m happy that I’ve lost nearly 4 stone in weight and 4 dress sizes. I’m especially grateful to my super PT who is one of the most patient and intelligent chaps I’ve ever met.
I think it’s reasonable to be angry, sad and frustrated in the circumstances. But I choose to focus on what I can do rather than on what I can’t, and for now, that mostly means being grateful for the multitude of things I’ve got on my side.