I was recently thinking about my goals and aims for this fitness journey that is now more than a year old, and I realised something new.
I want to be racing in triathlons when I’m 65.
This realisation brings a whole new perspective to things.
It takes the rush out of my approach and it changes the game I’m playing.
And it’s really quite nice.
I’m currently suffering with some nasty side effects of the treatment for my PMDD and I don’t think training as hard as I should be is wise given the symptoms I’m experiencing. That’s OK. A couple of easier weeks won’t hurt my aim to be racing when I’m 65.
I have gone from a size 24 to a 14. I’d like to get to a size 10 but I don’t need to do this overnight. I can eat well, nourish my body in the way it needs to be, and treat my body in the fashion it deserves. I’ll continue to change shape and lose size as I carry on training and fuelling properly over the long term, but I’ve got at least another 30 years in me, so no rush. I can buy my clothes in any high street store now, and whilst I’m still officially obese, I feel like I’m much further away from the danger zone I was in. I’m alright, the shape will change as it will, I don’t need to worry about it.
I have a triathlon booked for tomorrow, but I don’t particularly feel well enough to race. And that’s OK, because I have the 2016 season and the 2017 season and so on, until I’m 65. I don’t even know how many triathlons that will be, but I do know that one supersprint, or not, at Eton Dorney tomorrow won’t make any difference. I have so much swim/bike/run fun ahead of me and it doesn’t all have to happen now.
This means that I can relax, put my feet up, respect my body and give it some extra care given that it’s undergoing some pretty toxic treatment. I can spend some quality time with my gorgeous family, and I can cook some tasty, nutritious Paleo foods. I can spend some time reflecting on how far I’ve come in such a short space of time, and I can plan for my 2016 event season, for which I should be feeling much better after an operation in December. I can knit, I can do some adult colouring, I can study for my degree.
Because once the game turns from a short term play to a long term lifestyle, once the timescale switches from weeks to years, once you breathe and see that everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve isn’t going anywhere, and that you truly are changed by the journey you’ve been on and the steps you’ve taken, there becomes space for balance and you really can have it all.
Ironman 2043. Bring it on.