I believe…

A primarily PMDD related post, so be warned. Exercise themed though.

When I had untreated PMDD, I had bags of energy and was training regularly and fuelling excellently. Every couple of weeks I would go nuts and fire The Trainer, but thankfully he’s amazing and never listened. In spite of the fairly consistent disruptions to PT sessions, I still managed to get me ready for a triathlon, lose a whole load of weight and fat and get fitter.

I started treatment with Zoladex, a GnRh analog, in May. The first month was horrific, as predicted, but then June, July and August were mostly good. I know this because I don’t remember much of them. This means there were no dramas! I do remember a boxing class in which we were doing a tabata set and I added in burpees in the 10 second rest, so I obviously had energy then! The fact I got through a boxing class, traditionally a PMDD trigger, is something cool in itself. I remember saying to The Cheerleader that I could barely remember being ill as things were so good.

I’ve barely suffered with any menopause symptoms at all, so I believe that HRT has been working really well to control  those, no real reason to believe that it won’t work the same post-op.

September, October and November have gradually seen a return of dodgy PT sessions, massive lack of energy and unsettled moods. Zoladex is a hugely toxic drug (it treats cancer, after all) and it is certainly not without side effects. The absolute lack of energy most of the time is the biggest impacting one right now. This wasn’t a PMDD symptom when untreated, and it wasn’t a symptom when I started on Zoladex, so I have to think that it’s something that has come along as the drug has settled in. It COULD be a menopause symptom but it seems to be linked with the cyclical nature of the injection so I’m assigning it to Zoladex. I think I’m currently suffering from a mixture of Zoladex side effects and breakthrough PMDD.

I firmly think that the content of one’s beliefs can impact on how true events evolve. “Whether you think you can, or you can’t, you are right”. There is a risk that if I think the oopherectomy won’t cure the issues I’m having, it really won’t. Today I was reminded of the importance of what I believe. It’s actually the most powerful weapon I have to create the future that I so desperately want.

So here we go, Universe – I believe that I will have consistent and regular happy and balanced PT sessions; I believe that I will once more have the energy to work hard and play hard and do the things that really make me happy; I believe that I can achieve pretty much anything I set my mind to and I believe that I won’t have PMDD to battle against; I believe that I am a decent person who deserves happiness and will have it; I believe that I will continue to be an inspiration to my family and will lead them to a healthier lifestyle; I believe that I will attend group training sessions without any angst or anxiety; I believe that I will swim/bike/run and be happy and healthy and PMDD free.

Bring on 2016!

 

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